Easier to play your horn?
First you have to slave! Like a dog, every day!
Maybe it will make a man out of you. Work!
Okay, I'll wash it! I'll wash it! I'll wash it!
I'll wash it, jerk!
He does nice work. It sparkles.
Can he do mine now?
Why not?
It will cost you three rubles.
Lyosha, where are you?
Lyosha, what's wrong?
Get up! Don't lie there!
Okay, Lyosha.
It's okay. I'm here.
Pops, call the medics! You old wreck.
You'll be okay, Lyosha. Breathe deeply.
Everything is fine. Come on.
We'll put you on my bed.
Come on.
Okay.
E. R? E. R?
Why don't you answer? Goofing off again?
Who is on duty? I'll report you!
- How is his heart? - How is it?
We should all have such a heart.
A solid heart.
That's my boy.
Eat, Vanya. Eat.
You've had enough strain. Eat.
He'll get a shot.
Listen. What's this guy's name?
Proud of yourself? You saved a faker.
Now feed him. Feed him.
They said it was nerves.
All illnesses come from nerves,
except the clap; that comes from pleasure!
Get up.
Eat some expensive vitamins.
Feel better?
Shlykov...
...I had a dream.
I saw a room.
Then another...
...smaller...
...then a corridor, narrower and narrower.
I crawled along.
My skin was peeling off.
Blood on the walls.
The black hole.
I'll show you.
Look, just do this. It will snap you out of it.
No help?
Do this 10 times: 1... 2... 3... 4...
And 1... 2... Chase it away.
Still no help?
Do 20 more!
Still no help?
Got it?
Go on!
Vanya.
Listen to me.
You're an old goat.
You really are.
Yeah.
Get up!
Snap to it!
Get out of that hole!
Go on! You can do it!
Don't panic.
Take your vitamins.
I'll make a man of you.
Snap to it! Get out of that hole!
I'm gonna kill you now.
Attaboy!
Now you're talking.
You'll be a man.
- Nice going. - Get lost!
Get lost!
I'll strangle you!
You degenerate! Your music has driven you nuts!
Open up! Open up! I'm talking to you!
Open up! Open up!
Open up! Open up! Come on!
Pops!
- Pops! - I'm listening.
The next number is called "High in the sky without you!"
Ivan.
I'm moving out.
Pops!
Where's the beer?
Get out!
Vanya, fresh sturgeon!
Delivered today. So fresh.
I asked Lyuda to leave it for me, and she did.
Let me taste.
It's a log.
I'll slice you a piece.
- How shameful! - Why?
The masses...
The masses are starving.
Sure! They only have ration cards!
The masses are always hungry!
Give me your name.
- What's your name? - Hey, pops, you the D. A?
Here. Eat.
What music have you provided?
I need music in the kitchen. Vanya?
They dried up the Sea of Aral, the kikes did.
We have our own music.
Lyosha is gonna play for us.
No, I won't.
Pick up your horn.
I said, I won't play.
No inspiration.
Just play.
The inspiration...
...will come later.
Vanya...
The radio's too good for you.
- Don't... - Listen, genius.
You live at my place.
You gotta earn your keep.
Let's eat.
Okay.
For you. You earned yours.
Hey, guys.
I'll open the bubbly.
Vanya, wait.
To love.
My queen.
I'm tipsy!
Does any music give you goose bumps?
Sex-music, that's it!
Once I heard a cassette that had, well, a real bedroom scene in it.
They made sounds like...
And they...
See this thing?
This thing...
Women call it the sexophone!
Lyosha, give us some of it!
Bastard!
Swine!
Filthy pig!
You! Filthy pig!
Get off him, creep!
Get off him!
You're all a big pain.
Vanya!
Vanya! Vanya!
Vanya!
Vanya! Vanya!
I killed him!
Why are you staring at me?
What? Think I drink? Me, an alcoholic?
You mean a genius!
You don't know me!
You've never seen...
...anyone as free as me!
I'm brilliant!
Oh! Military man! Military man!
Military man!
Soldier, stand up!
Attention!
Bastards! Bunch of assholes!
I'm going home to sleep.
You're an idiot, Shlykov.
I just wanted a party.
A champ of an asshole.
Let go of me!
You don't turn me on!
I hate that! Let go!
Where you going? Stop!
- Come here! - That's illegal! Illegal!
I'm a Buddhist!
Don't touch me! I'm a saint!
Leave the saint alone!
- Handcuffs! - Don't touch me!
Don't touch me!
I'm a genius!
Bastards!
Let me go!
Sobering-up station?
What brother?
This time it was rough.
But the sergeant was a nice guy.
He had such sad eyes.
But they "spelled" two weeks in the jail.
I was put under the shower.
Look at my hair.
Will I get sick? Catch cold?
You're a real turd.
Get out of my life for good.
What's wrong with you?
You mad? It wasn't me.
Get it?
I was dead drunk.
What about my debt? You've forgotten?
The dough I owe you. I owe you.
Listen. Please don't leave.
I've got nothing. You understand?
I'm wiped out. Can't you see, I'm flipping?
I have the shakes. Everything's collapsing.
Have a heart. At least stick me in the madhouse.
Here's subway money. Take it alone.
You're a monster! You bastard! I'm at your mercy!
Bastard!
Go away! Please! I can't stand the sight of you!
Oh, shit.
Okay.
We'll go home.
Let's go home! Get up!
Forgive me.
I'm sorry.
Let's go home.
Pal, got any vodka?
Really, pal, can you help me out?
I'll pay you. You'll come out okay.
The joker over by the store window, ask him.
Hey, chief!
Save me!
Hi, you.
Lyoshka?
Seliverstov.
How many you want?
One? Two?
It's unbelievable. Come on.
It's no sweat.
25 rubles, and it's yours.
Know what, pal? Take us, and I'll pay you double.
I'll guarantee it.
Know who he is?
A friend.
To us, he was the greatest.
More like a god.
Got a glass?
Close that bottle.
I don't get you.
What's the problem?
You'll have serious problems.
You got your booze? Now go have fun.
What cab depot you with?
Go away. Beat it.
Now I get it.
I get it all.
See you.
Lyosha, come to the studio on Monday.
We're seeing Victor Borissovich.
Know who I mean?
Get going.
I said, get going.
When can you, Victor Borissovich?
No time, kid. I'm expecting a foreign delegation.
Foreign delegation! Sounds phoney!
- I must be dreaming! - I told you, I can't. No time!
No time? What about me?
Five minutes. Seen my guy?
No. You've lost your glasses.
You saw him? You missed everything.
Put them back on. So you'll see him.
What's the point? Look at your guy.
What's in it for you?
I don't understand. We mustn't offend this guy.
I see. But he's just an old hack.
Please.
- He said, "What will we play?" - This is Victor Borissovich.
What did he say?
He's asking, "Who's that playing?"
He's asking, "Who's playing?"
To disarmament and to the end of all wars.
And may the sun shine forever.
- May the sun shine forever. - Thank you. Thank you.
- You're welcome. - Thank you.
Calm down. Calm down.
Calm down.
I want to make a toast.
I want to toast...
Wait, I...
I want to make a toast.
To disarmament and to the end of all wars.
Wait, I...
I want to make a toast.
I want to make a toast!
Wait. I want to make a toast.
To disarmament and to the end of all wars.
And may the sun shine forever.
I want... I want...
Good. Good.
To your health.
To good health forever.
To your health. And now a toast to disarmament.
Pops, you're a good singer.
- And the end of all wars. - Pops sings well.
The American people always liked us...
...because we... - Bravo, Pops!
- That's right. - 70 years on the job.
Why the party?
Just like that.
We met a good guy, so we had a party.
Know who he is?
Hal Singer.
Sax player.
He really can blow a horn, Vanya.
Does he talk to God too?
He said, "He's my brother."
We're brothers.
Brothers.
I thought you were his son.
And Pops was still in a tree eating bananas.
Comrade.
You're the only normal person here.
Stop this nonsense. Do something.
My whole schedule's shot.
Right away.
I'll do it at once.
This is my country.
The kitchen.
This is what I play.
This kind of music.
I can play on anything. Even this pipe.
This bag with a hole.
That bulb.
This rotten closet.
This is where I live...
...where I drink...
...where I panhandle...
...where I destroy myself, where I keep up my hopes.
It's my family.
I'm the black sheep.
Yes.
Maybe I'm the worst of all.
But they're my kin...
...and I love them.
And they love me, too.
They screw in my bed!
What's this mess?
The foreigner was drunk.
Columbia Records can't hold its liquor.
Okay, grab that creep and his black brother
and be gone in five minutes.
Don't be sad.
Anyway, I'm leaving you.
Going far?
Leningrad, then New York.
Got your ticket?
No need. He has a plane. A private jet.
You have a shirt. He has a jet.
Simpson!
Where's the first gig? New York?
He really may be a genius.
A genius? You mean a load of crap!
Alexei Seliverstov
Watching, Pops?
TV! What else?
I'm watching.
I tell you it's him!
From New York.
You're an idiot, Vanya.
Hang up. Spare my soul.
I'm trying not to see the faces. I'm trying to see through them.
Sound passes through them, too.
That's why I don't care if I'm playing, I swear it,
for the U.S. President or Benny Goodman...
Asshole!
Lyosha!
Wait, wait.
Hi!
Lyosha, wait!
Lyosha, you know, I saw you on TV!
Get in the car! Hurry up!
- Let's go! - Hey!
What are you doing?
- Come on! Come on! - Let's go! Let's go!
Our heart sings an old refrain
The wine is flowing
Look who came to see us
Our beloved Vanya Shlykov
Vanya, Vanya, Vanya
Vanya
Bottoms up!
Bottoms up! Bottoms up!
- Blow! - Blow, Vanya!
- Blow! Blow! - Blow! Blow!
Sing, "You're nothing without me."
Without me, my treasure
Life would be too hard
Hear that, Shlykov?
Without me, my treasure
You're too alone
Find me, my treasure
Even if it's not so easy
In the end you'll find me
And together we'll sing "la la"
Shut up!
This is no way to party.
We faced the foe
But never lowered
The Imperial Flag
We preferred
To seal our own fate
So we scuttled
Our finest ship
Quiet, you whores! Stand up!
Look into my heart!
You don't love me.
You don't love me at all!
Everyone loves you!
Vanya!
You don't love me.
Don't move.
Lyosha! I heard you! I came! I was there!
I'll call you, Vanya! I will!
When? When?
Come visit! Really!
Vanya, some soup?
You'll feel better. Eat some.
- Lyosha! - Go on!
Say "cheese-ass."
- Great! - The presents!
The presents! The presents!
- Where are the presents? - Wait, no hurry!
- Where's the bag? - No hurry!
Alexei, not all of them! I need some for bribes!
No chance!
- Let go, stubborn! - Me stubborn?
- Don't! - So keep it all!
Keep it all! I've got everything! I want nothing!
Take it all! Go ahead! No more Paris now!
My brand of cologne.
I remember, you drank my bottle in the bathroom.
Pops, now I know who you are: A true samurai.
Of course. And we made plans for your return.
- We worked hard. - Shlykov's missing something.
Blow! Come on! Blow!
Okay, it's over! We gotta run!
Bye, Vanya. Call me if you want.
You really are an idiot, Vanya.
Lyosha!
You're alive? Lyosha!
Lyosha!
Who are you?
Who is he?
Who are you?
LYOSHA: Currently in a hospital after bouts of DT.
Recorded his second album in New York.
SHLYKOV: Founded the co-op "Russian Taxi".
Now drives a used red Mercedes.
CHRISTINA: Married to a cop,
is a waitress in the restaurant "Crimea".
POPS: Deceased. Buried in Kuntsevo Cemetery.